Should I Do A First Look??!
As a wedding photographer we get asked all the time about “first looks”. Should a couple do one? Is it required or necessary? We get this questions quite a bit now that it is a pretty common occurrence as opposed to when we started back in 2012. There are lots of reasons why a “first look” is recommended and times when it isn’t. But there is no right or wrong answer! We want to break down the pros for each one (that’s right NO cons!) and help you make the best decision for you and your fiancé on your wedding day.
What the HECK is a “First Look”?
A “first look” is when the couple see each other before their wedding ceremony, instead of seeing each other for the first time when the bride/groom walks down the aisle; ya know, the traditional way. The First Look is usually set up by your photo/video team; this means we look for a beautiful background, free of any noise, distractions or potential photo-bombers and let you have your moment without us (or anyone) interrupting. This can also happen completely private (just the two of you) or with a small group of people like your parents or wedding party standing nearby.
Pros for First Look
Later Ceremony time. If your wedding ceremony start time is later in the day, close to sunset or after sunset, you will want to consider doing a “first look.” This is so you can get photos before the ceremony while there’s still daylight or during golden hour (*if you don’t know what golden hour is, it’s the last 45 mins before the sunsets and the light is BE-A-UTIFUL!). This is super important when it is not daylight savings and the sun sets REALLY early in the day giving you less sun for photos.
You want to go to cocktail hour. If you’re like most couples who want to spend cocktail hour celebrating with family and friends… instead of taking a million photos lol… You’re gonna want a first look! After a first look, there’s the option of doing all wedding party photos, portraits of just the two of you, and even knock out family photos with parents, grandparents and siblings. If we can get all of those photos taken after the first look (as we’ve done many times in the past) then guess what??? After the ceremony, you can head straight to cocktail hour and get your pre-game on for the reception!
Private time. Do you think you will be overflowing with emotions walking down the aisle and want to let those tears out in a more private setting? Or maybe you are just super nervous and want to have that special moment just between the two of you? A first look allows you to have that private time, and for some couples this is one of the biggest pros with a “first look”. Side note/personal story. Couples often ask us what we decided for our own wedding and here’s our answer: When Leo and I got married back in 2013, he was adamant that he did NOT want to do a first look, and that was totally fine with me. Admittedly, he’s a sentimental sap who always pictured seeing his bride for the first time when she walked down the aisle. Boy did he lose it, and so did I. However, in hindsight we both agree that if we were to do it all over again, we would definitely do a first look. Why? When we think back on our wedding day, we realized that we barely spent any actual time with each other. The morning and afternoon was spent apart, then there was the ceremony, and then photos right after, then comes the reception which was filled with traditional “dances,” then toasts/speaches, then dinner (which was constantly interrupted) then came visiting the tables… all 24 of them (don’t invite 240 guests like we did lol). By the time we finished all that, the wedding was over and off we went! Did we do a first look? No. Do we regret it? eh…. yes and no. It was a beautiful moment seeing each other the way we did, but we wish we could’ve spent more time celebrating and enjoying the day instead of following a ridged schedule; and we feel a first look could have granted us that extra time.
MYTH: If I do a first look, then it’s not going to be special when we see each other at the ceremony. FALSE! Even if you do a first look, it doesn’t change what an emotional and beautiful moment it’ll be as you make your way down that aisle to your future spouse. Most couples, especially the sentimental ones (like us), are still gonna catch some feelings.
Pros for Traditional Reveal
Early Ceremony time. Just like a later ceremony time calls for a first look, an early morning ceremony with a first doesn’t make much sense. You will have to start hair and makeup even earlier! Plus most morning or early wedding ceremonies allow for more wiggle room between the ceremony and cocktail hour, especially for church weddings, and photos are the perfect way to fill in that void.
Tradition. Maybe a traditional reveal is something that is really important to you and your family! Some parents aren’t sold on the idea of a first look, so you need to decide what’s more important to you both. Or perhaps it’s beyond family but more of a cultural or religious belief, in which case we’re in full support of that.
It’s been what you pictured forever. If you dreamed of walking down an aisle to your soulmate your entire life, then go for it! Don’t let anything or anyone tell you otherwise. We are not trying to talk you out of something that means so much to you.
Is there a third option?
Oh yeah! Well 2 more options really!
First Look with someone else besides your partner. Maybe you want to do a first look with your Dad, Mom or Bridesmaids. Thats a fun option too!
“First Touch”. This comes into play when you wanna say something in person to each other, exchange gifts or simply, just holding hands before the ceremony. All of that can still happen without seeing each other. We call this a “first touch” - when you can each be around a door or corner and hold hands to simply say “I Love You” or maybe say a quick prayer together.
At the end of the day this wedding is about the both of you, and your love story. So consider both options and decide what suits you best. Just because something is popular or trendy doesn’t mean you have to do it! Your wedding day should always reflect your style, dreams and beliefs.
